Black Dads Matter

black dads matter

I have grown frustrated over the past few years regarding the lack of attention paid to inner city gun violence. The greatest mortality risk for a young black male growing up in the inner cities today is not at the hands of our police departments. This demographic is most likely to die at the hands of other young black men. In retrospect, most of these murderers lack any significant male role model in their lives. Hundreds of young black children have been gunned down in the city of Chicago alone over the past year, yet the death of Cecil the Lion and Michael Brown received more attention than all of these victims combined. For years, I assumed that the public’s apathy regarding this epidemic problem was simply due to the subtle soft racism of lowered expectations. However, I just recently realized that this persistent neglect by the mainstream media may be due to the lack of a catchy slogan for the cause. I think it is long past the time that we actually had one. I recommend that we use the slogan “Black Dads Matter.”

Love and Other High-Risk Activities

Two people watch the full moon also referred to as a "super moon" rise in the sky from the Eagle Rock Reservation in West Orange, New Jersey, June 22, 2013. The largest full moon of the year called the "super moon" will light up the night sky this weekend.  REUTERS/Gary Hershorn (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENVIRONMENT SOCIETY) ORG XMIT: NYK03

“I don’t know, dude… I just don’t know why any woman would ever choose to love me.” My friend took a big swig of beer as we both looked up into the night sky.

“What the heck are you talking about? Any girl would be lucky to have you,” I reassured him.

“Lucky,” he chuckled, “that’s not what I would call it.”

My buddy had lived the first twenty-three years of his life with the death sentence of cystic fibrosis hanging over his head. He normally tried to remain optimistic and confident. Maybe it was just the alcohol talking on this quiet night. Looking back, I suspect it was just a moment of honest self-reflection.

He then said in all seriousness, “I can’t have kids and I probably won’t live past my thirties. How could I ever ask a woman to marry that?”

I quickly responded, “You don’t look for a woman who wants to marry that… you just look for a woman who wants to marry you. None of us know how long we have on this Earth.”

“I feel sorry for anyone stupid enough to love me. They are just asking to get hurt,” my friend muttered as he stared down into his empty beer bottle.

“Shut up, man,” I told him emphatically, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Go get some sleep.”

This was not the person that my friend usually allowed the rest of the world to see. He was usually funny and boisterous. He was gentle and kindhearted. He would go on to courageously live the next two decades of his life with a sense of purpose. However, I suspect that he spent many of his early years worrying that he would someday become a burden and a source of pain to those around him.

I received the phone call a few days ago that I long feared. My friend had finally succumbed to cystic fibrosis at the age of forty-five. I immediately packed my bags and drove across the state to attend his funeral. What I found did not surprise me.

I found a kind and beautiful wife who was absolutely grief-stricken. I found her two children that my friend had been raising as his own. He had been a world-class husband and father. His family was surrounded by a large circle of friends who were completely heartbroken. I met a huge group of wonderful people who loved my old friend fearlessly. They saw a man each day with an infectious smile and an inspirational attitude… not some doomed soul with an early expiration date. Most importantly, I met a group of amazing individuals who would love this man all over again if given a second chance. In the end, he filled an entire church with a massive crowd of people who were not afraid to love him.

We all miss him right now.

We are all hurting.

I hope he realized at some point in his life that he would always be worth the pain.

The Rebel Without A Clue

Confederate Flag

When I was in tenth grade way back in 1985, I had a large Confederate flag hanging in my bedroom.  One day, I had a good friend named Corey Oates over to my house to play video games.  Corey is black and highly intelligent.  As he sat down in my room, he looked up at this flag and told me in a semi-joking manner, “You know, that flag is a symbol of racial oppression and is highly offensive to people of my color.”  I rolled my eyes at him and said, “What are you talking about, you homo?  This flag just means that I am a rebel.  I am not offending anyone.  Don’t be such a retard.”

Personal growth comes gradually with most people.  It comes over long periods of time and is accelerated through education.  It evolves with exposure to other opinions and cultures.   I can’t pinpoint the precise moment when these changes occurred in me but I do know that I am not a big fan of the Confederate flag or the words “homo” or “retard” thirty years later.   My friend Corey knew that I had no hatred for other people in my heart, but my obliviousness to the pain that I may have been inflicting on those around me should not serve as an excuse for my behavior.   We worry so much about “political correctness” these days and how it may infringe on our freedom of speech… but having the right to say something does not mean that you should actually say it.   Human decency dictates that we restrict our own speech as soon as we realize that it unnecessarily damages the psyche of those around us.

The Confederate flag has been flown throughout the south for far too long.   As a general rule, one does not get to fly one’s flag any longer after one loses the war.   Only the winner gets to fly the flag.  That is the way that it has always been.  Can you imagine how people would feel if the Nazi flag was raised throughout Israel today?   Can you imagine the anger and hostility this would elicit from the general public for no reason whatsoever?   The Confederate flag belongs in our museums… not flying over our government buildings or in the bedrooms of our clueless teenagers.

Just recently, an angry racist white-supremacist entered a historically black church and killed nine of its church members in a cold-blooded attack.  He stated that he wanted to start a race war.   He acted as if he spoke for White Americans throughout this country.   What would be a better way to honor those victims than to start the process of removing the Confederate flag from flagpoles everywhere?   Would there be a better way of collectively thumbing our noses at this cold-hearted killer?

We should not remove symbols of the Confederacy because we are forced to.  We should not succumb to peer pressure or political correctness.    We should remove all symbols of the Confederacy because they lost the war over one-hundred-and-fifty years ago.   We should remove these symbols because they unnecessarily hurt people for no reason.   We should remove them because we have undergone our own personal growth as a nation.  We should willingly take down these Confederate flags… not because we are forced to… but because we are a good and decent nation.

A Quick Dose of Perspective for Christian Caterers Everywhere

praying man

There has been quite a bit of talk in the news recently about Christian people being forced to provided business services that violate their personal beliefs.  I do sympathize with Christian people who feel like their beliefs sometimes run against the grain of society.  I really do.  The best personal example that I can give is regarding the subject of abortion.  I strongly believe that abortion is the premeditated murder of innocent life.  I try to understand it’s utilization in extreme cases of rape or risk to the mother’s life… but I have seen abortion used repeatedly as a form of birth control and it makes me sick to my stomach.

As a family doctor, I would sometimes face a conundrum.  I would sometimes find myself sitting in an exam room with a young woman who did not want to continue with her pregnancy.   It would be easy for me to look down my nose at this woman or treat her with contempt.   I would never allow myself to behave in this manner.  I would smile at her and say that I know what she was going through must be very difficult.  I would sit and talk with her for a few minutes about her decision-making process.  I would make sure she had considered the possibilities of actually keeping the baby or giving the child up for adoption.  I would then tell the patient that I was going to have my nurse come in and talk with her about all of her available options.  At the end of the visit, I would excuse myself from the room and find a quiet area to pray.  Her life was already difficult enough… it was not my place to make it more difficult.  I asked God to forgive her for what she might be about to do.  My patient had no idea that I did not approve because it was not my job to be her judge.  She came to me because I was her doctor.  I did not endorse her decision in any way but the rest of our society has already told us both that what she was doing is currently acceptable.  And if being a family doctor meant that I was required to physically perform the abortion myself then I would have already found another line of work years ago.  I have always treated my patients the exact same way regardless of my own religious beliefs.  That is exactly how an intelligent Christian florist or caterer should handle being asked to provide services for a gay wedding in our civilized society.

Those are the rules when your principles and religious beliefs are being held by a shrinking minority of the population.

You pick a profession you can live with.

You approach life with a good attitude and a smile.

You are pleasant to people who are pleasant to you.

You do your job as required within the restrictions of the law.

And you pray for the sinners when you get home.

Racism Is Here To Stay

RACISM

There will always be racism in our society. Racism is simply never going to go away. It will never be completely eradicated. There are people in this country who are just as closed-minded and racist today as the ones who were burning crosses in other people’s yards many years ago. If you constantly measure our apparent “lack of progress” by pointing out all of the racists who still exist within this country then you have ideas about race relations that are simply unattainable. As long as stupidity exists… racism will also exist.

The measure of a society is not whether or not it contains some racist people within it but should instead be measured on how it responds to this racism. There was a time when a racist could be vocal without any consequences whatsoever. Overt racists could continue to run their businesses or continue their college education. They were not afraid to share their views with the rest of the world.  Racists in today’s society live in constant fear of being discovered.

In an advanced society, its good-hearted citizens act like the antibodies of a healthy immune system. Acts of racism are immediately attacked once discovered. The racist is often shamed and publicly ostracized. Of course, these racist individuals have the constitutional right to say whatever they want. But freedom of speech does not also grant freedom from consequences. Our society will essentially “wall off” the offending individuals in order to keep the rest of our society healthy.

Unfortunately, all immune systems have a tendency to become hypersensitive.   In our society’s strong yet impossible desire to eradicate racism completely, our citizens have started attacking any perceived threat of racism. The simple act of criticizing a racial minority can often be considered to be an example of covert racism. The antibodies of our immune system are now clearly attacking healthy tissue. Our society’s desire to attack and completely eradicate racism is now making us sick. This autoimmune disease has now become the process that is slowly killing us.

The solution to this new problem will require that we gradually desensitize our own immune system. Our children are not born with racial bias. If we do not teach racism to them… then they won’t go looking for it. Real racism will almost always reveal itself over time and when it becomes obvious then it should be dealt with immediately. False accusations and innuendos will continue to tear at the very fabric of our society. The long-term solution to this problem requires that all of our citizens are assumed to not be racists until disproven with undeniable evidence to the contrary.

This is a Test of the Entire United States Judicial System. This is Only a Test.

Supreme Court

There is a test going on in the Supreme Court right now and it is not just a test to determine the fate of Obamacare. This is ultimately a test to determine which Supreme Court justices can actually read. These justices are currently hearing arguments regarding an issue which is as simple as two plus two.

The Affordable Care Act clearly states that the federal government can only subsidize the insurance premiums for exchanges that have been established by the individual states. This law specifically says that these subsidies would not be provided for states on the federal exchanges. One of the founders of this law then went on to proclaim publicly that this distinction was placed into the legislation on purpose as an incentive for the states to establish their own exchanges. This preemptively diffuses any theoretical argument regarding the law’s true intent. This part of the law was clearly not a typographical error.

Any judge who rules in favor of the Affordable Care Act regarding this issue is either too foolish to interpret the plain English written into the law or they are too influenced by politics to actually do their jobs and interpret the law as written. The justices of the Supreme Court are about to be subjected to a very public litmus test. Their bias may soon be exposed for the whole world to see. Our citizens are watching closely to see whether or not the judicial system in the United States is now completely broken.

I do not personally wish for this court decision to be upheld because I want people to pay more for their health insurance. My wish for this legal decision being upheld is a simple one.  I believe in the simple rule of law.  I believe that the Affordable Care Act is a bad law… and in the immortal words of Abraham Lincoln: “The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.”

Arkansas: Leading The World In Intolerance Since 1957.

arkansas sign

A terrible law was just passed in Arkansas earlier this week which indirectly makes it legal to deny someone service from a business based on their sexual orientation.  This law actually prevents local cities and counties from passing their own anti-discrimination legislation and forces these municipalities to adhere to the state law, which just happens to allow legal discrimination against homosexuals.  This is one of the proudest moments in our state history ever since banning those nine black children from Little Rock Central High School in 1957.

We have learned throughout history that discriminatory practices can tear at the very fabric of our society.   As a civilized society, we have a responsibility to level the playing field though the laws that we pass.  Anti-discrimination laws have done a great deal to restore social order. However, these laws must be limited so that they do not violate the constitutional rights of the individual.   A free society cannot simply force an individual to provide a service if they choose not to do so.  However, a free society can tell an individual that IF they choose to provide a service to the public then they must indiscriminately provide that same service to everyone.  This does not undermine anyone’s constitutional rights.   The individual provider of a service always has the freedom to simply walk away if they don’t like the rules.

It should be obvious to everyone involved that the act of providing a service for a homosexual person is NOT an endorsement of that person’s lifestyle.  It should not violate someone’s Christian sensibilities to provide flowers or a cake for a gay customer.  Allow me to give you a personal example.  There was a three-week period in the late nineties when I kept a child rapist alive in the ICU.  A local father caught this man raping his young daughter in her own bed and proceeded to beat this man within an inch of his life.  I did NOT decide to take care of this patient because I endorse the rape of children.  I did not show support for this person’s actions by keeping him alive.  I did exactly what I was required to do in that ICU because it was my damn job.

Nobody forced me to be an ICU doctor in the United States, but when I decided to become an ICU doctor then I made an agreement with the rest of society to treat everyone the same way.  If my so-called “Christian beliefs” were so strong that I could not allow myself to save the life of a child rapist, then I should have looked for employment that did not involve my daily interaction with the general public.  If a local florist or baker cannot muster the intellectual courage to provide service for a homosexual customer then perhaps they should also pursue a different line of work.  I would also like to state for the record that while child rapists are absolutely abhorrent… most homosexual men and women are the nicest and most harmless people that you will ever meet.  I use this analogy only to point out the absurdity of the opposing argument but I want to make it clear that I do NOT morally equate these two groups in any way.

If you call yourself a Christian and you still support the foolish laws such as the one recently passed in the state of Arkansas then you need to get over yourself.  A real Christian takes care of all people and leaves the judging up to God.  I would recommend for Christians throughout this nation to stop praying so much for the “hedonistic sinners” that you perceive to be all around you and to start praying instead to be forgiven for your own ugly intolerance.   God is watching us all.

Dr. Guyer’s Ten Rules Of Domestic Violence Against Women

battered_woman

1) There is no such thing as a “mean drunk”. If he is mean to you when he drinks then he is just mean. The alcohol simply unchains the man.

2) A man should never hit or push a defenseless woman. He doesn’t hit you because you treat him poorly.   He does not do this because you get “up in his face”. He hits you because he is an asshole.

3) Having a bad childhood is not an excuse for being a bad adult. Good people take bad experiences from the past and turn them into something positive. Bad people take bad experiences from the past and turn them into excuses.

4) If he hits you once then he will hit you again. Apologies are just intermissions from the violence.

5) Trying to fix an abusive husband is like trying to turn a ticking time bomb into a lovely bouquet of roses. It is only a matter of time before the whole thing just blows up in your face.

6) If you blame yourself after your husband physically attacks you then congratulations… you have just become his psychological puppet.  He is using your own empathy against you.

7) You can tell your children whatever you want. You can attempt to teach your kids how to be wonderful people. Your children will ultimately learn how to treat a woman by watching how your husband treats you.

8) If you are ever even briefly frightened for your life because of your husband then he should never know where you sleep going forward.

9) There is never a good excuse to stay. Issues with money and children will work themselves out over time.   You should not be afraid of the unknown. The known in your life is frightening enough.

10) Nobody intentionally marries an abusive husband.   You are not “just like one of those women”. You ARE one of those women.

Fighting Propaganda With Hellfire Missiles While Ignoring The Bolo Punch

boxing

I watched a mixed martial arts fight recently which pitted a large muscled-up brute against a scrawny little opponent.   A loud guffaw was released from the crowd as the two fighters stepped into the ring.   I thought MMA fighters had to be from the same weight class but this was clearly not the case for this fight.   I leaned over to my friend and whispered, “This little dude is about to be destroyed.” The big man started the fight with a flurry of punches.   The little guy kept retreating when approached and continued to run in circles around the octagon. The big fighter proceeded to chase his opponent while constantly swinging and missing.   This continued for the first two rounds. In the final round, the big guy became frustrated.   His arms had become tired and he looked exhausted. Suddenly, the little fighter came in with a right hook and landed it right on the other guy’s chin.   The big man fell to his knees and the little guy pounced. The fight ended with the smaller fighter sitting on the big guy’s chest and pounding away at his defenseless skull. The big guy was powerful and aggressive. He was determined and he was fearless. But most importantly… the big fighter was dumb.  The smaller guy did not have to be as powerful because he was patient and he was smart.

This fight that I just described is very similar to the United States and its current war on terror.   We are fighting in a manner that is profoundly stupid.   We initially came out flailing wildly after we were blindsided on 9/11. We were using an old and tired fighting tactic against a new enemy. We are now becoming frustrated and exhausted while our enemy circles us. We know deep down that we are losing but we seem bewildered. If we don’t change our fighting tactics soon, we run the risk of losing the fight.

In order to understand this concept, you need to look at the age of the typical Islamic militant.   The average age of an ISIS fighter in Iraq right now is just twenty-two years old. Just think about that for a second. This means that our current enemy was approximately eight years old when the 9/11 attacks took place. An angry American public cried for revenge after the twin towers fell back then.   Our strategy became focused on getting Osama bin Laden and blowing up terrorists anywhere that we could find them. The United States couldn’t have cared less what the average eight-year-old Muslim child was thinking when this fight started.

We launched our counterattack with drone strikes and hellfire missile while our enemy launched a new war with false promises and propaganda.   We provided our enemies with the ammunition for their war with our mea culpa regarding mistreatment at the Abu Ghraib prison. We fed into our enemy’s narrative by attacking innocent wedding parties with predator drones.   We supported brutal dictators in their region because it served our best interest. Hell… we should have just printed up their propaganda pamphlets for them and dropped them from our own airplanes.   In summary, we did not give the average eight-year-old Muslim child living in the Middle East back then any reason whatsoever to trust us.

It is much easier to prevent an innocent young person from becoming radicalized than it is to return this person back to the civilized world once they have already converted. We cannot continue to fight these battles on the wrong front. Most conventional wars in our past had a leader whom we could directly focus on. If you toppled that leader then you won the war. The war we find ourselves engaged in today is not with any one military leader or country. The civilized world is at war today with an idea… and that idea is called radical Islam. This war will not be won with military power alone. This war will either be won or lost in the arena of ideas.   We have to start fighting intelligently or otherwise this smaller opponent will soon be sitting directly on our chest while pounding in our skull.

The best way to fight propaganda is with counter propaganda.   Of course these brutal Islamic militants need to be killed… but even more importantly, their message needs to be silenced.   We need real leadership to rally Muslim countries to counter radial Islam. These radical Islamic militants need to be defeated by good Muslim people willing to fight for what is right. Jordan and the United Arab Emirates would be willing to lead the way if the United States would offer real leadership and support.   The United States should be willing to provide tactical support and equipment. Our non-Muslim allies could assist as well but the main fighting on the ground must be from a groundswell of Muslims willing to attack other Muslims. This will counter our enemy’s own propaganda if they are defeated at the hand of other Muslims. We are never going to win the hearts and minds of this current batch of Islamic militants on the battlefield today. Every single one of these Islamic extremists must eventually be eliminated.

The most important role for the United States going forward is to focus on the next batch of young and impressionable Muslim children that are currently being brought into this world.   We have to show them the goodness that is the United States of America. We have to work with local Muslim leaders regarding education and prevention of future radicalization.   Most importantly, we have to conduct ourselves in a manner where we do not leave these children with the impression that we might be the evil bad guys that our enemies describe. We have to be patient and we have to be smart. We have to stop chasing our opponent endlessly around the octagon.  We have to study our opponent and adapt accordingly.

It would be a glaring omission to finish discussing my fighting analogy without even mentioning the “bolo punch”. You do know what the “bolo punch” is, right?   The bolo punch is a fighting technique in which a fighter will move one arm in a large circular motion in order to distract the opponent from the other hand. While the opponent is focusing all of his attention on the movement of the one hand, the fighter will then use the other hand to blindside the opponent. Right now, ISIS is the circling hand that is getting everyone’s attention… but Iran is sitting quietly with the other clenched fist.   Iran has a vast stockpile of enriched uranium and they have just developed an intercontinental ballistic missile according to recent reports. The mullahs of Iran have already vowed to wipe Israel off the face of the earth. ISIS may be “small potatoes” compared to what might actually lie ahead in this fight.

If we are not careful… the world may soon receive the mother of all bolo punches.

The time for training camp is now over.

The gloves have come off.

It is time to learn how to fight properly in this new world order or we are soon going to get knocked the hell out.

 

 

 

 

The United States Has Finally Won The War On Terrorism

artist_formerly_known_as_prince (1)I am happy to announce that the United States of America has now finally won its war against terrorism. The strategy used to accomplish this goal was simply brilliant.  The civilized world struggled unsuccessfully for years to rid the world of terrorism by getting down into the trenches and battling insurgents on their own home turf. We soon discovered that a new terrorist would pop up just as quickly as we would take down an old one. It seemed as though we were playing a never-ending game of “terrorist whack-a-mole.”

New leadership ushered in a new era of ideas. We had been fighting this battle on the wrong front. The United States redirected its efforts to pinpoint the actual root of the problem. Our leaders eventually determined that the only real way to rid the planet of terrorism would be to actually attack the word “terrorism.” Major news organizations got onboard and announced that violent Islamic terrorists would now be referred to as “rebel forces.” Terrorist attacks themselves would now be referred to as “crimes.” We stole a page directly from “the artist formerly known as Prince.” The enemy became “the rebel forces formerly known as terrorists.”

This new tactic regarding the global war on terror proved to be very successful almost immediately. Terrorism statistics began to show a significant decline.  We finally had these rebel forces on the run. There was obviously a sharp uptick in local crime during this same time period, but these petty crimes could be dealt with on an individual basis by local law enforcement.

The good news is that the global war on terrorism has finally ended. Terrorism is now gone for good. The bad news is that there are still large organized groups of severely religious gentlemen who are rapidly gaining power by overthrowing entire government entities with the long-term goal of eventually removing your head from the rest of your body. Perhaps we need to announce a new global war on whatever the hell you want to call this.