Secret Code System For My Social Media Account

I am currently on probation for so-called “hate speech” on Facebook. I have decided to supply a list of secret messages for my social media. Every time you see me post one of these statements on Facebook, please come over to my blog to see what I really mean.

“Facebook is fair.” means “Facebook is an oppressive pile of shit.”

“Biscuit” means “Cracker.”

“Carbon based matter that absorbs all wavelengths of light” means “Black people.”

“Carbon based matter that reflects all wavelengths of light” means “White people.”

“Bizarro” means the opposite… so if I say that “Joe Biden is so bizarro smart” then please understand that he is an idiot.

And now for the most important one…

“Zuckerberg is the best!” means “Zuckerberg can suck a bag of dicks!”

I Just Got Banned From Facebook For Calling An Elk Statue An Ugly Name

This elk statue is clearly an enemy of the Black Lives Matter movement

I just got banned from Facebook for three days because I sarcastically referred to a statue of an elk as a “likely slave-owning cracker ass.” Clearly I was just joking but Facebook was obviously concerned that I might have hurt the feelings of this elk statue. I think that I will start sharing some of my every day thoughts and silly musings over here on my blog where Zuckerberg can’t touch me.

Bold Suggestions In Order To Repair America

Our country is in very serious trouble. These are my very bold personal recommendations on how to fix these massive problems.

1) Eliminate the Department of Education – it’s simply not working.

2) Eliminate the Veteran’s Administration – provide all veterans with a lifetime voucher to purchase free insurance in the private market.

3) Eliminate the Federal Communications Commission – let the free market decide which forms of communication are acceptable

4) Lower the corporate tax rate to 15 percent which will allow for an influx of new industry and job growth.

5) Introduce a federal sales tax which exempts taxes on food and basic living requirements and is highest on luxury items.

6) Drastically reduce funding to the United Nations.

7) Pass a law eliminating all foreign financial aid until our government is running budget surpluses.

8) Eliminate all financial contributions going to the International Monetary Fund.

9) Audit the Federal Reserve.

10) Audit America’s gold reserves including Fort Knox.

11) Set up a “Global Trade Freedom Organization” which includes all of the willing nations that do not engage in slave labor practices. All countries who do actually engage in slave labor practices will have to pay an import tariff to all of the countries participating in the GTFO… and yes that acronym was on purpose.

12) Secure both of our major borders using advanced technology and a strengthened border patrol.

13) Create an investigative committee to find areas of government waste and excessive government regulation run completely by professionals and business owners with a plan to create a bill eliminating excessive government waste by the year 2018.

14) Completely repeal every single part of the Affordable Care Act and provide access to Medicaid for any citizen who loses their previous insurance for one year in order to help then with the transition.

15) Allow for the option of tax-free personal healthcare accounts. This would be like a Roth IRA but for medical care.

16) Remove all restrictions for insurance to be sold across state lines.

17) Begin significant tort reform to further bring down the cost of healthcare.

18) Pass the Healthcare Price Discovery Act where all prices for all aspects of healthcare must be immediately available to the general public.

19) Increase the amount of federal money going to Federally Qualified Health Centers so that people everywhere who lose their insurance over the long term can still get baseline affordable healthcare.

20) Begin an incremental increase to the retirement age for Social Security. People currently in their 50’s would add 3 years to their retirement age. People in their 40’s would add 4 years. Those in their 30’s would add 5 years. Everyone in their 20’s or younger would be told of their retirement age at a later date.

21) Allow for oil drilling in select locations within the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

22) Reduce the amount of federal dollars going towards a traditional college education and redirect much of this money to vocational school so that more of our population will begin to learn trade skills.

23) Begin to adjust personal income tax rates lower and the federal sales tax rate higher until the federal government is consistently running small budget surpluses. We will then use these budget surpluses to start paying down our debt.

The Art of Bullying by Donald Trump

donald trump

1) Verbally assault anyone who gets in your way.  Simply describe yourself as a counter-puncher even when you have attacked your opponent first.  This is not Han Solo vs Greedo.  Most people aren’t paying attention.

2) Provide persistent anecdotal evidence that people are constantly coming up to you and stating that you are clearly in the right while your opponent is in the wrong.  This cannot be disproved and creates a powerful false aura of political consensus.

3) Don’t insult people in the first person.  Use terms like “everybody knows that he is a liar” and “everyone thinks that she is a loser.”  This helps to easily herd those who are already susceptible to a herd mentality.

4) Get everyone laughing at your opponent’s physical flaws.  It really helps if your opponent has a physical disability or a birth defect but any obvious physical flaw will do.

5) If your opponent is an unattractive then you simply call them ugly.  If your opponent is an attractive woman then you call her a bimbo.  If your opponent is an attractive man then you call him an idiot.   If you opponent is an attractive man who is clearly not an idiot then you call him a pedophile.

6) If you say something that is completely reprehensible and indefensible then you should quickly attack the oppressive atmosphere of political correctness without apologizing.

7) If you say something that is so overtly ridiculous that even you don’t believe it, this statement should quickly be followed by at least three iterations of “I guarantee it.”

8) If you look like you have a dead animal living on top of your head then you should never make fun of your opponent’s hair.  It also helps to wed a new young attractive mate every eight to ten years so that you can easily make fun of everyone else’s ugly and aging spouses.

9) Bombast trumps logic and facts every single time… don’t get mired in the truth when destroying your opponents.

10) Once people surrender to your bullying then you should immediately back off.  It doesn’t matter if you called them an idiot yesterday.  Call them wonderful just as soon as they say something nice about you.  This creates a positive feedback loop to keep them in line.  You have now just made this person your little bitch going forward.

What a Wonderful World It Could Be

I want to live in a world where people are allowed to protect themselves by any means necessary from physical harm but not from other people’s opinions.

– where I can learn a trade skill and not have this talent leased back to me by my government for a small annual fee.

– where I can fish, hunt, and grow food without asking anyone else’s permission.

– where a dude can walk down a street wearing a dress and everyone else will just leave him the hell alone.

– where I can call a black person an idiot without being considered a racist.

– where last place doesn’t get you a trophy but it does provide you with an important life lesson.

– where I can earn a currency that our government is not slowly turning into toilet paper.

– where child predators are classified by their previous actions and not by their clothes.

– where skin color is just as insignificant as hair color or eye color.

– where people will stop talking about Jesus all of the time and start acting like him.

– where everyone just stays out of everyone else’s damn business.

– where people talk less and listen more.

– where people react less and ponder more.

– where people stand united against evil rather than repeatedly turning a blind eye.

– where we take care of each other rather than asking our government to do the job for us.

I want to live in a world where each individual is provided with the personal space to succeed beyond their wildest dreams or fail spectacularly.

I realize that this world does not exist right now.

But we could start building it today.

One person at a time.

How To Completely Collapse An Economy In Four Easy Steps

Step 1: Establish a large federal welfare state which takes care of all people from cradle to grave.

Step 2: Open your borders to everyone and then grant citizenship to anyone who enters.

Step 3: Force private business to pay all citizens fifteen dollars per hour regardless of each individual’s training or labor contribution.

Step 4: Make sure to shame anyone who objects to this by calling them a “closed-minded and cold-hearted racist” in order to silence them and prevent them from interfering with the overall economy-imploding process.