What if Lemonade Stands Were Run Like the United States Healthcare Industry?

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Lemonade would originally start out at twenty-five cents per cup.  A large sign would advertise the price and anyone who was thirsty and had a quarter could purchase a cup of lemonade.

Some people eventually start showing up at the lemonade stands who are very thirsty but do not have any money.  Politicians decide that this is not fair.

The government sets up a system where the neighbors living down the street pay for any of the lemonade that the poor customers cannot afford.   They set the price at a dime per cup.  For the lack of a better term, this government program is called “Lemon-aid.”

The lemonade stand operators begin to sell cheaper lemonade to the low-income customers but they soon realize that they are losing money on each customer because of the cost of the ingredients.  They decide to continue to sell poor people lemonade for a dime but they begin to sell lemonade to everyone else for fifty cents per cup in order to make up the difference.

Poor people from all around the neighborhood find out about the “affordable” lemonade.  They start coming around and ordering multiple cups.  The lemonade stand operators increase prices on paying customers once again to make up the difference due to the increased volume of low-income customers.  Due to the high volume of customers, the lemonade stand operators decide that they need to hire extra employees to help produce the lemonade.  The cost of these new employees is added to the price of the lemonade.

Eventually, a few of the customers get very sick after drinking the lemonade. People believe that some of the lemonade was possibly contaminated.  They sue the lemonade stand operators and each victim is awarded with ten-thousand dollars.  People in the neighborhood hear of this news and other customers start falsely claiming that their lemonade was also contaminated in order to file their own lawsuits.  The lemonade stand owners decide to purchase insurance as protection from future lawsuits.  The cost of this insurance is passed on to the consumer through the price of the lemonade.

Politicians hear the news that multiple people are having issues with possible lemonade contamination.  They require that all lemonade stand operators become licensed.  These lemonade stand operators have to pass a test every seven years to prove that they still know how to make lemonade which is both safe and delicious.  These tests costs one-thousand dollars each and the expense from these exams are then passed on to the consumer.

It is soon discovered that a few lemonade stand operators were billing “Lemon-aid” payments for lemonade that had not actually been sold.  These lemonade stand operators are sent to jail on “Lemon-aid” fraud charges.  Because of this, politicians decide that all lemonade stand operators need to provide extensive documentation for each cup of lemonade that is produced.  Each document needs to have fourteen descriptive bullet points for each cup of lemonade sold or the lemonade stand operator will otherwise not be reimbursed.

Lemonade stand operators subsequently hire extra staff members to deal with required increased documentation of lemonade production.  The costs of these new salaries are added to the cost of the lemonade.  Lemonade stand operators tell the government that they can no longer afford to sell lemonade to low-income customers at just a dime per cup.  The price of everyone’s lemonade begins to climb dramatically.

As prices continue to skyrocket, more and more people find that lemonade has simply become unaffordable.  Some people buy lemonade insurance which will help them to purchase lemonade but only when they really get thirsty.  Others simply go without lemonade.  Prices become so high that lemonade stand operators remove all advertised pricing from their lemonade stands.  Most customers have no idea what lemonade costs any longer because someone else is now paying for it.

The neighbors down the street are gradually becoming bankrupt while trying to pay for everyone else’s “Lemon-aid.”  After maxing out all of their personal credit cards, they set up a counterfeiting ring with printing presses in their basements in order to be able to continue paying for everyone else’s expensive lemonade.

A new mayor named Barry O’Malley is elected during all of this lemonade chaos.  Nobody knows how it happened, but somehow lemonade is over 50 dollars per cup.  He promises real solutions to address the overwhelming price of lemonade.   Mayor O’Malley ultimately decides that lemonade has now become too expensive because there is not enough oversight and government regulation. The community passes a law called the “Affordable Lemonade Act” but most people simply refer to it as O’Malleycare.

Laws go into place stating that everyone must purchase at least one-month worth of lemonade per year even if they don’t plan to come anywhere near a lemonade stand.   The law also states that small cups of lemonade are now illegal.  Everyone much purchase an extra-large 44-ounce cup of lemonade regardless of their individual thirst level.   The government then plans to subsidize people who cannot afford these mandatory payments by providing these people with money from the neighbors down the street who are already broke.   These mandatory payments are established on an insecure 200-million dollar government website which crashes every twenty seconds and retains no data.

Politicians also pass laws stating that each lemonade stand must purchase its own computer equipment in order to make all lemonade documentation electronic.  Portals must be set up so that any customer can access a computer and see exactly how their lemonade was produced.   Rules are established that ten-percent of all customers must be given “lemonade information handouts” which explains to them exactly how lemonade is made.  Each lemonade stand is responsible for documenting how many information handouts were given to their customers.  More people are hired to deal with all of the new rules and regulations.  These costs are passed down to the cost of the lemonade.

Some of the older lemonade stand operators do not like the new rules and they decide to leave the lemonade making business for good.  In order to save money, these experienced individuals are replaced with trained monkeys who wear tiny hats and are referred to as “lemonade stand assistants”.  The original lemonade stand operators who remain are told that they have to produce lemonade twice as fast as they used to while keeping up with all of the new layers of documentation.  Inexplicably, the quality of lemonade continues to decline while the price of lemonade continues to go up.

The citizens gradually become frustrated and turn their anger towards the lemonade stand operators themselves.  They start referring to lemonade stand operators as “heartless” and “greedy money-grubbers.”

The people turn their attention to politicians who claim that government has not done enough to fix this problem.

They begin to believe that lemonade is a God-given right and that all lemonade should be free for everyone.

They still have not learned the very painful lesson that nothing is ever actually free in our complex and ever-evolving economy.

They still do not understand the important principle that government “help” eventually comes with a very steep cost.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Libertarianism 101

Libertarian Flag

Allow me to explain something about Libertarians. Just because we believe something should be legalized does not mean that we condone it in any way.

I believe that prostitution should be legalized. I also believe that this is a pretty terrible way to make a living.

I believe that drugs should be legalized. I absolutely hate drugs and wish that they did not exist.

I think that driving around without wearing a seat belt should be legal and I would never get in a car without wearing one.

I believe that homosexual couples should have every legal right that heterosexual couples enjoy and I am not attracted to men in any way except for an occasional fleeting issue with Ryan Gosling.

Libertarians do not push for changes in our legal system because we are a bunch of hedonists who want to have a huge drug-fueled orgy. We push for these changes because we believe in constitutional liberty.

We believe that consenting adults should be able to do whatever they please as long as they are not hurting anyone else.

We don’t believe in passing laws to prevent people from going to hell.

We believe that adults are responsible for their own decisions.

We believe that adults are responsible for the repercussions from those decisions.

We believe those same adults are responsible for their own healthcare costs in order to deal with the aftermath from those repercussions.

We believe that the legal system should only be used to protect us from everyone else and should never be used to protect us from ourselves.

Libertarianism allows for everyone to achieve their true potential in life regardless of how good or bad that outcome might be. Adults don’t need parents. Adults need freedom.

The Art of Bullying by Donald Trump

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1) Verbally assault anyone who gets in your way.  Simply describe yourself as a counter-puncher even when you have attacked your opponent first.  This is not Han Solo vs Greedo.  Most people aren’t paying attention.

2) Provide persistent anecdotal evidence that people are constantly coming up to you and stating that you are clearly in the right while your opponent is in the wrong.  This cannot be disproved and creates a powerful false aura of political consensus.

3) Don’t insult people in the first person.  Use terms like “everybody knows that he is a liar” and “everyone thinks that she is a loser.”  This helps to easily herd those who are already susceptible to a herd mentality.

4) Get everyone laughing at your opponent’s physical flaws.  It really helps if your opponent has a physical disability or a birth defect but any obvious physical flaw will do.

5) If your opponent is an unattractive then you simply call them ugly.  If your opponent is an attractive woman then you call her a bimbo.  If your opponent is an attractive man then you call him an idiot.   If you opponent is an attractive man who is clearly not an idiot then you call him a pedophile.

6) If you say something that is completely reprehensible and indefensible then you should quickly attack the oppressive atmosphere of political correctness without apologizing.

7) If you say something that is so overtly ridiculous that even you don’t believe it, this statement should quickly be followed by at least three iterations of “I guarantee it.”

8) If you look like you have a dead animal living on top of your head then you should never make fun of your opponent’s hair.  It also helps to wed a new young attractive mate every eight to ten years so that you can easily make fun of everyone else’s ugly and aging spouses.

9) Bombast trumps logic and facts every single time… don’t get mired in the truth when destroying your opponents.

10) Once people surrender to your bullying then you should immediately back off.  It doesn’t matter if you called them an idiot yesterday.  Call them wonderful just as soon as they say something nice about you.  This creates a positive feedback loop to keep them in line.  You have now just made this person your little bitch going forward.

What a Wonderful World It Could Be

I want to live in a world where people are allowed to protect themselves by any means necessary from physical harm but not from other people’s opinions.

– where I can learn a trade skill and not have this talent leased back to me by my government for a small annual fee.

– where I can fish, hunt, and grow food without asking anyone else’s permission.

– where a dude can walk down a street wearing a dress and everyone else will just leave him the hell alone.

– where I can call a black person an idiot without being considered a racist.

– where last place doesn’t get you a trophy but it does provide you with an important life lesson.

– where I can earn a currency that our government is not slowly turning into toilet paper.

– where child predators are classified by their previous actions and not by their clothes.

– where skin color is just as insignificant as hair color or eye color.

– where people will stop talking about Jesus all of the time and start acting like him.

– where everyone just stays out of everyone else’s damn business.

– where people talk less and listen more.

– where people react less and ponder more.

– where people stand united against evil rather than repeatedly turning a blind eye.

– where we take care of each other rather than asking our government to do the job for us.

I want to live in a world where each individual is provided with the personal space to succeed beyond their wildest dreams or fail spectacularly.

I realize that this world does not exist right now.

But we could start building it today.

One person at a time.

The Circle of Life and Politics

Okay, I have come full circle. As you all know, I was a very strong supporter of Ben Carson two years ago.  Since that time, he made some very silly statements about homosexuality and Obamacare which had caused my support to wane.

I went on to support Scott Walker and Rand Paul who both dropped out. I thought about voting for Bernie Sanders to just blow the whole economy up and start over. I recently thought about supporting Marco Rubio but something just doesn’t seem right about him. He started out as tea-party but now he does appear to be the choice of the establishment.

My attention turns back to Dr. Carson on the eve of the election. People are telling me he can’t win and they may very well be right. But my mind is telling me what professional coaches have been telling their players for many years, “Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing, just do your job.” My “job” as an American voter is to pick who I think is best suited for the Presidency. I consider two factors to be the most important.

First, we do not need a candidate who is beholden to money or special interest. We need a candidate who had done something with his or her life BESIDES spending other people’s money. We need a solver of complex problems.

Second, as our country continues to chip away at our constitutional protections… we are going to be electing a President with almost unlimited power. The only thing that may restrain our next commander-in-chief is their belief in God since the constitution does not seem to matter much any more.

No candidate is perfect. I don’t believe that homosexuality is a choice and I do not believe that Obamacare is the worst thing to happen to America since slavery. But we cannot rule out good candidates based on the occasional odd things they say that we might disagree with. Ben Carson is a good man with a good heart. He believes in limited government and the power of self. He has a powerful and effective message for a growing group of disaffected minorities who are becoming disillusioned with the policies of the Democratic Party.

At the end of the day, I couldn’t care less if you tell me that he won’t win. I will know at the end of this process that I did my job as an American voter and elected a candidate who would make a great President. I refuse to get sucked into this “herd mentality” where I elect someone who is leading in the polls so that I can be a part of the winning team. Can you imagine a world where we all just did our job on election day? With all that being said, I proudly announce my renewed support of Dr. Ben Carson for President of the United States.

My Paradoxical Argument For Supporting Bernie Sanders

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I have been thinking recently about the possibility of voting for Bernie Sanders.  Before any of you have a mental breakdown or start calling me names… please hear me out.

This country has debt that simply cannot sustain itself.  We are approaching an economic collapse the likes of which none of us have seen in our lifetimes.

Now, consider the large swaths of young adults who are currently supporting Bernie Sanders.  Most of these folks are kind-hearted people who stay minimally informed.  Donald Trump does not scare me and Bernie Sanders does not scare me, but a large crowd of young adults mindlessly holding up Bernie Sanders signs absolutely frightens the living hell out of me.  Honorable people are now dropping out of the Presidential race and once again we are being left with only bad choices.

What do you think will happen over the next eight years if Sanders loses the election and we place another “Republican-In-Name-Only” in the White House who continually expands the debt even further while keeping all of our already existing socialist programs in place?  Conservatism will be blamed for what liberalism and cronyism has gradually destroyed.  Even more angry young people will cry out for change without fully understanding what caused the overall collapse.

The subsequent depression will wipe out many of our over-leveraged banks.   The higher education bubble will likely burst.  Unemployment will be at record highs.  If a capitalism-endorsing Republican is sitting in office at the time that this all occurs, then an angry public might put a socialist in office at the start of the inevitable recovery.  This might eventually create the illusion for the uninformed masses that socialism is actually fixing things.

Young people have no real concept of democratic socialism.  They don’t seem interested in learning about the downside of socialism through history books.   This next generation seems hungry to try something besides our broken hybrid system of crony capitalism and progressive liberalism.  When would be a better time for young people to try out a form of purely democratic socialism than at the very precipice of a massive economic collapse?  Let them drink from the glass of big government in order to leave a bad taste in their mouths which will hopefully last for the rest of their lives.  If the ship is sinking anyway then at least we can teach our kids how to swim while they are still young.  If socialism is going to bring down the United States of America then the word “SOCIALISM” should be stamped across this country’s forehead.  Socialism needs to own this next economic collapse rather than continuing to hide in the political shadows of progressive liberalism.

Like any good chess player, we should not simply be planning our next move… we should be looking at least five or six moves ahead.  A grumpy old democratic socialist can play the role of a “poisoned pill” which eventually flushes the entire system and allows for us to once again rebuild a fair and capitalist economy with a solid foundation.   Unfettered central planning can be the medicine which triggers our own immune system to finally rid the nation of metastatic socialism. Our youngest generation needs a tough lesson in economics before we can all move forward. Unfortunately, this country needs to get very sick before it gets better.

With all that being said, I would like to publicly announce that I am formally endorsing Bernie Sanders as the next President of the United States… and may God have mercy on us all.

 

 

The Road Not Taken

 

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The “United” States of America has now become so politically polarized that a crony capitalist and an overt communist are currently leading in the polls while a large swath of voters in the middle go completely unrepresented.

Trump is not just a “capitalist”… he is the worst kind of capitalist. He uses his wealth to influence politicians and to ultimately get what he wants. He uses the laws created by this influence to circumvent the rights of others. He uses eminent domain laws to take the property of others. He uses bankruptcy laws to clear himself of his previous financial obligations. Donald Trump is the ugly underbelly of capitalism.

Sanders is not just a “democratic socialist”… there is a reason that the Democratic party has been unable to explain the difference between a Democrat and a socialist. The Democratic party became a socialist party many years ago. Bernie Sanders is now using the old definition of “democratic socialism” which is what we all called communism over fifty years ago. Do you remember the old USSR? The second “S” stands for socialists. By most modern definitions, Bernie Sanders voices political positions which currently border on our old definitions of communism.

The United States of America is currently at a crossroads… and from my vantage point, both paths will lead us straight to hell.

How To Completely Collapse An Economy In Four Easy Steps

Step 1: Establish a large federal welfare state which takes care of all people from cradle to grave.

Step 2: Open your borders to everyone and then grant citizenship to anyone who enters.

Step 3: Force private business to pay all citizens fifteen dollars per hour regardless of each individual’s training or labor contribution.

Step 4: Make sure to shame anyone who objects to this by calling them a “closed-minded and cold-hearted racist” in order to silence them and prevent them from interfering with the overall economy-imploding process.

My Name Is Michael But You Can Call Me Henry

Henry

My name is Michael but you can call me Henry.

“Henry” is an acronym for High-Earner-Not-Rich-Yet.

That’s me.

I’m the guy that did everything right.

I come from a family of immigrants who pulled themselves up from far below the poverty line.

My parents stressed to me the importance of a good education.

Neither my wife nor myself have ever been personally provided with a single dime of inheritance.

I took all of the hardest classes in college and studied at least eight hours per day while many others around me goofed off and had a good time.

I went to medical school and became a doctor.

When I was in my 20’s, I often worked over 90 hours per week in residency while making only 33,000 dollars per year.

Even though I worked 90 hour work-weeks during my residency, I still usually would moonlight on most weekends for additional 60 hour shifts in order to rapidly pay down my loans.

I have never asked a union leader to artificially inflate my value in the workplace.

For years, my wife and I lived in an 88,000 dollar home which we quickly paid off and got into the early habit of saving at least 50 percent of our income.

My wife and I stood by and watched people with one sixth of our household income purchase houses at least three times bigger than ours with no money down.

I buy almost all of my clothes at Wal-Mart and many people who do not know me simply assume that I am poor.

My wife and I paid off over 160,000 dollars of debt before I turned twenty eight.

I started my own business and eventually purchased a large apartment complex.  I gradually paid down the mortgage on this property until it was completely paid off.

I have always paid all of my taxes and the only contribution to my lifetime criminal record was a speeding ticket which I received when I was 18-years-old.

I have absolutely no debt.

I did not “cheat” anyone else to get where I am today.

I have never played the “victim card.”

I have never received a single penny of public assistance.

I have never declared bankruptcy or asked for any of my debt to be “forgiven.”

I drive a ten-year-old used pick-up truck and I paid cash for it.

My house is over 40 years old and has a few holes in it but it’s mine.

I took all of my money out of the stock market in 2007 and completely avoided the market collapse.

I would like to say I have been fortunate in life but this is untrue.  I have earned everything I have through planning, education, and hard work.

I usually pick political candidates that get around four percent of the popular vote.

My wife and I paid slightly over 310,000 dollars in federal, state, property, and sales taxes in 2010 alone.

My wife and I have contributed to Social Security for over twenty years with the expectation that we will never see a dime of this money.

I don’t have a personal chef, personal trainer, or butler.  I hire a housekeeper to clean our house twice a month and she drives a car much nicer than the one I drive.

I plan to avoid the upcoming currency collapse by putting many of my assets into commodities and real estate.

My country now runs up huge amounts of debt and turns its eyes to me once again.

I am told that I need to pay my fair share of taxes.

I am told that I should feel grateful for what I have.

I am told that the fruits of my labor will eventually need to be “redistributed.”

I now see large crowds of young Americans attending the political rallies of self-described socialists.

I am told not to complain about my current situation.

I say all of this not to complain… but simply to inform.

I am tired.

I am growing weary of a system that punishes the winners and rewards the losers.

I am growing angry over a system of taxation without representation.

I announced last year that I was officially walking away from the practice of medicine for good.

My country has lost another doctor and another taxpayer.

I do not seek your approval for my life choices and I couldn’t care less about your criticism.

I am going to focus less on making money and more on improving myself by exercising, reading, and teaching myself to become maximally self-sufficient.

I am awaiting our country’s economic collapse.

Most importantly, I am going to teach my son about the principles that this country was founded on.  I pray that he can be the kind of individual who can pick up the pieces and help rebuild this country into something great once again.

Our citizens will soon learn that we all get the country that we deserve.

 

The Crusade Against Assault Grade Box Cutters

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I would like to use the reminder of this tragic anniversary to inform everyone of my personal crusade to pass a federal law banning the sale of assault grade box cutters in the United States. Imagine the number of lives we could save each year if we simply removed all of the box cutters from our city streets. Remember, people don’t kill people… box cutters kill people. Did you ever wonder why we usually blame the guns for our local crimes but NOBODY blamed the box cutters on 9/11?